That's all I am able to say these days it seems. Time to sit and write. Time to sit and draw. Time to gather my thoughts back from the ends of the earth. Time to know if my husband is still a jerk or not. *sigh* I wonder what it would be like to never die.....
But that's a different night. My time today has been spent unsuccessfully trying to get two three-month-olds to sleep. Mine has just finally closed her over exhausted eyes, hopefully, for the night. It's heart breaking to see her so tired. And to know I could have done something about it earlier, and it didn't even occur to me that her schedule had been thrown off so badly. Poor baby!
So, yes, the husband has been talking this week. Swears he is a changed man and wants, needs, his family back. But I still fail to see where he puts us first in his life. To be honest, he made me mad today and even further lessened his chance of a second chance. I am not the one who needs to prove myself, and I refuse to be forced into it.
It has made a lot of emotional havoc for me this week. But I am really learning to give it to Jesus, and to have faith "even when I cannot see." It's hard. I want one thing, then he makes me mad again, and I want another. If it weren't for a couple of friends of mine right now, I would be insane at this very moment. God has "given me my daily bread" in more ways than just food. He has given me all I needed for today.
And I thank Him for it.